Tag Archives: peace

Ten Practices to Inner Peace

Some years ago, I took the time to identify my personal core values.  I review them annually, but each year inner peace makes the list.  I thought it might be helpful to describe what having inner peace means to me, and how I go about preserving it. 

Inner peace for me is a psychological and spiritual freedom that allows me to feel contentment in a world always demanding my attention, and where adversity is ever present.  Feeling peace is important, because if something undermines my peace, it undermines my happiness.  To be content with myself and the world around me is to be truly free.  My peace is dependent entirely on my inner attitudes. 

Because I cannot control anything outside of myself, I try to make my peace not dependent on anything outside of myself.  My inner peace and freedom do not rely on my ability to silence the buzzing and whirling of the external world around me.  It is not dependent on getting all the things of my desire but appreciating all that I already have. By reducing the disturbances in my inner life, I can increase my inner freedom and peace of mind.  What practices are key to having an undisturbed day?

“The world can be at war while one is at peace, just as the world can be at peace while one is at war.”

— Epictetus

Keys I try to keep in mind…

  1. Control.  Awareness about what I ultimately do and do not control.  I can only be responsible and feel burden for those things I control.  Most things in my life I do not control. But I do control my thoughts, emotions, judgments, perspectives, opinions, fears and intentions.  If it is a worldly external that bothers me, I remember I do not own it and therefore not mine to be burdened.
  2. Providence.  The Creator is in control.  The universe is complex and amazingly sophisticated.  I only see evidence that the nature of the world is not random and mere chance.  Consequently, it is governed by providence and therefore there is meaning in everything. Everything is ordained by my creator and has purpose.  I try to accept and even embrace the “bad” with which I face.
  3. Gatekeeping.  I am my own gatekeeper for the things that enter my mind.  What goes into my mind turns to thoughts, then words, then actions, then habits, then character and finally my destiny.  Too much news and social media are destructive to my peace.  I need to also be careful about what and whom I spend my time with and allow into my life.
  4. Fear.  I work at detaching from my fears.  Fear is a controllable product of my opinion about it.  The possible unpleasant situations looming ahead are a product of my own catastrophizing and usually never end up bad as I think, if at all.  My self-inflicted gloom and doom only hold me back and makes me miserable.  Why worry about something before it is necessary?
  5. Gratitude.  Gratefulness helps me to detach from my desires.   When I appreciate what I already have, I am less concerned with what I still desire.  While I appreciate what I have, I am careful to not become too attached should I lose it. The less I desire, the more I find peace.
  6. Adversity.  I know that it has a purpose.  Every seemingly bad situation helps me to learn and grow.  Often, I can look back at the turmoil in my life and see a good that has emerged from it.  To suffer is not to spend time in vain.  The value I gain from adversity is always more than the emotional price I paid.
  7. Stillness.  Quiet time to still the mind and provide opportunity for reflection is a long habit of mine.  For me, this is general reading, prayer, devotions, and introspection.  By taking time to separate myself from the noisy world, I gain clarity and focus on the longer view of life.  It allows me to empty my mind of the daily chatter and consider the deeper significant things that lie below. 
  8. Margin.  I try not to push the limits.  My budget, my schedule, my gas tank, my sleep…. all thank me.  I know that having breathing room gives me peace of mind.  I am not stretched thin and drained of energy by the routine pressures I can burden myself with.  This is a practice I struggle with.
  9. Relationships.  I appreciate harmony in all my relationships and try to keep them good.  When one is out of whack, it causes me turmoil, and I try to mend it.  I moderate my expectations, so I am hard to disappoint or hurt.  When trouble shows it head, I ask myself “would I rather be right, or keep the peace?”  Especially true in marriage.
  10. Beauty in the moment.  There is beauty all around us all the time.  Only in the last couple of years have I come to appreciate watching the squirrels gathering food, kids laughing playing at the park, or the rain cleansing the air.  But if I look with intention, I will always find something. These momentary enjoyments brings me inner peace.

For me, having inner peace is a core ingredient to my happiness.  As ancient philosopher Epictetus said, “The world can be at war while one is at peace, just as the world can be at peace while one is at war.”  In a world that seems to always be at “war,” I prefer to be at peace.

Finding Happiness

I have been watching my grandchildren lately and find wonder in how they seem to live genuinely happy lives.  It has me wondering about happiness in general.  What is it really and what is necessary to have it in my life?  So for a few weeks now I’ve fine-tuned my happiness radar with respect to what I see and experience in this world.

So the one thing that I am certain is that money and things aren’t the source of happiness.  I’ve had money problems and I’ve not had money problems.  I’ve had equal doses of happiness and sadness under both conditions.  Some of the poorest people in the world are joyful, and some of the richest people in the world are miserable.

We are bombarded each day and each hour by being told what we need to make our lives wonderful.  When we buy that new house, splurge for that next gadget, make that next Amazon purchase, add another streaming service, buy those new shoes, or drive off the lot in that new car, we probably do feel pleasure.  They are all externals, but they are fleeting. How long does it last?  Pleasure is always temporary.

Eventually the new, interesting and fun becomes old, boring, stale, outdated and sometimes a vice.  And it doesn’t usually take too long.  Even with money, most people desire more.  Don’t you? Sure, money and the things it can buy bring pleasure, but it eventually doesn’t satisfy us and we need more. How much more?  Just more.  Pleasure wears off. There’s always the next thing.  We move on to the next want and desire.  We ultimately can’t control these externals and they take us prisoner and rob us of our freedom, because our outside desires are never fully met.

You’ve heard it said that no one on their death bed regrets not having more. Death bed musings are always about people and relationships.  That is because people and relationships are the essence of life and they bring fulfillment. Our station in life is not determined by the things we have, the power we can yield, or our celebrity, but the impact we have on others.  Having purpose and impact on others and the world brings fulfillment.

Happiness comes from goodness, fulfillment and purpose.  It comes from within.  Fulfillment is about living for something greater than yourself.  It is found in relationships, character, love, service, championing causes, and virtue.  Fulfillment brings peace.  And with peace comes happiness.  Anything that undermines peace, undermines happiness.  Low character and undeveloped virtue, separate us from others, and keep relationships from flourishing.  This causes unrest and denies us happiness.  Happiness is an outcome — a result.  It always comes later.  It comes after sowing.  It is never immediate.  It follows the law of the harvest.  It takes time, intention and effort.  Therefore, as a favorite mentor of mine Jim Rohn says, “Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.”

True happiness originates inside of us, and not from the external world. What comes from within us is the only thing we truly control.  If you allow your happiness to be dependent on external things — the approval of others, possessions, prestige, power, and even your health — you’ve released the control of your happiness to something outside of yourself.  You’ve allowed the external world to make you a victim, and you are denied the ability to be your own master.

Now back to the grandchildren. They are happy because they haven’t yet been polluted by the concerns and weight of the outside world. They are at peace with living in the moment. As each year passes, they will have to work harder to create their own happiness.