Tag Archives: Covey

Self Awareness of Our Perspective

The Blue Marble

Different Views

The Blue Marble is a photograph taken by Apollo 17 on its way to the Moon in 1972.  While not the first image of the Earth from space, it is widely accepted as the first image that changed mankind’s perspective about its relationship to the Earth and universe.  As it sits alone in the vast expanse of darkness, it shifts our attention from our immediate surroundings, to understanding a much wider interpretation of the world.  In an instant, it makes personal how we share this beautiful, puny, vulnerable, isolated, and finite planet.  Awareness of this perspective, was emblematic to helping usher in an environmental movement.

So, how is it that some can see chaotic protests in the streets as righteous demonstrations for dignity and equality, while others see them as a lawless defiance of authority, reason, and respect for property?  Why do some see guns as weapons of death and destruction, and others see them as a birthright and a tool for the enjoyment and protection of life?  How is it that two people can go through the same event and come out with two different experiences?  Why does one person see the cup as half empty, and another as half full?  It has to do with our perspective.

Perspective is the way we view the world and our relationship to it. Therefore, we do not see the world as it really is, we see the world as we are.  This makes our view of the world unique through the lens of the many attributes of our own lives.  All the things of our life experience — our upbringing, families, education, faith, relationships, ego, culture, position, health, wealth, travels, geography, and more – create the totality of our viewpoint.  This viewpoint is just that — a single point from which we take a view.

I once had a boss who told me that “we stand where we sit.”  Meaning our viewpoints reflect our station and conditions.  Even our mood contributes to our perspective.  And this is the filtered lens from which we interact and live our lives.  This lens creates the perspective from which we operate.

Awareness of our perspectives is difficult because they run in the background, largely subconsciously.   The perspective our paradigms create is hindered by our many biases and assumptions. Consequently, we see a world according to our own preferences. 

One Story

The late Steven Covey tells his story of himself on a subway when he experienced a shift of paradigm:

I remember a mini-Paradigm Shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly — some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.

Another Story

Covey’s story above illustrates the power found in assumptions and biases.  In another example, the perils of stubbornness and an openness to other possibilities is wonderfully illustrated:

A battleship had been at sea on its routine maneuvers under heavy weather for days. The captain, who was worried about the deteriorating weather conditions, stayed on the bridge to keep an eye on all activities.

One night, the lookout on the bridge suddenly shouted, “Captain! A light, bearing on the starboard bow.”

“Is it stationary or moving astern?” the captain asked.

The lookout replied that it was stationary. This meant the battleship was on a dangerous collision course with the other ship. The captain immediately ordered his signalman to signal to the ship: “We are on a collision course. I advise you to change course 20 degrees east.”

Back came a response from the other ship: “You change course 20 degrees west.”

Agitated by the arrogance of the response, the captain asked his signalman to shoot out another message: “I am a captain, you change course 20 degrees east.”

Back came the second response: “I am a second class seaman, you had still better change course 20 degrees west.”

The captain was furious this time! He shouted to the signalman to send back a final message: “I am a battleship. Change course 20 degrees east right now!

Back came the flashing response: “I am a lighthouse.”

The captain duly changed course.

The common thread in both stories, is that the person making judgment does not have all the information.  The situations are viewed with fixed assumptions.  Our perspective may be one that is flat-out false.  And when we have more complete information, our perspective becomes more accurate — closer to the truth. 

Final Thoughts

Self-awareness of our perspective is the key to be open to other points of view and appreciating that we may not have all the information.  Self-awareness is a uniquely human endowment which allows us to examine our relationship with the world around us.  Empathy can only result from self-awareness.  Keeping our ego in check requires self-awareness.  Refraining from kneejerk reactions requires self-awareness.  Self-awareness is required to acknowledge we may not have all the facts of a situation.  It helps us understand that there may be another perspective.  Self awareness of perspective helps us to understand why some view:

…protests as defiance, and others as righteous.
…guns as a source of scourge and other as a tool of their birthright.
…the cup as half empty and others as half full.

I find it helpful to remember that the way a person views a situation is because it is true for them, based on their current perspective.  One’s ability to consider a broader perspective about things is a wonderful thing and uniquely human attribute.  It helps in seeing past those things that keep us thinking in a rigid way.  It is like taking off blinders, providing more opportunity for truth.  How can we do this?  Through self-awareness of perspective… 

Don’t Prioritize your Schedule, Schedule your Priorities

Managing Priorities is the Key

As a productivity junkie for the longest time, I was always trying to figure out how to get more done in less time.  I figured that if I could only get up earlier, stay up later, fit this in here, or multi-task there, I could get more done.  I thought that by doing more, I could come closer to achieving my goals and dreams.  As it turns out, I was chasing the wrong thing.  It’s not about managing your time, but managing your priorities.
Stephen Covey  (1932-2012) explains this concept well in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” with the Life Quadrants diagram.  As the diagram indicates, the things we spend time on have an urgency and importance.

Urgency vs. Importance

Those things that are more urgent beg to be done now. The more urgent they are, the less control we have.   Those things that are more important contribute most to our relationships, goals and well being.  The more important an activity is, the more focus and perspective it brings to our life.
The more time we can spend doing the least urgent, but most important things, (Quadrant II) the more we can live according to our  values, mission, priorities and dreams.  Admittedly, quadrant II is the hardest area of focus (but the most important), because it doesn’t scream for our attention and demands intentionality.  We don’t  typically “drift” into Quadrant II.
LifeQuadrants
Quadrant I — You need to deal with stuff here.
The quadrant of “Deadlines and Fire Drills.”  In Quadrant I are the urgent and important things of life.  Bad things happen if they aren’t dealt with.  These may include:
  • Paying bills
  • Changing the baby’s diaper
  • Changing a flat tire
  • Homework assignments
  • Keeping appointments
Quadrant II — Set your sights here.
The quadrant of “Growth and Quality of Life.”  In Quadrant II are the least urgent, but most important things of life.  These are the easiest activities to avoid, because there’s not a looming deadline.  It’s potentially the most lucrative area to spend your time because this where we move life’s needle.  Examples include:
  • Exercise, fitness, and health
  • Goal setting and planning
  • Date nights
  • Reading and Writing
  • Hobbies and other passions you want to master
  • Creating following a budget
  • Volunteer service
  • Spending family time
  • Prayer and meditation
  • A business venture
  • Professional development
Quadrant III — Avoid.
The quadrant of “Deception and interruption.”  Quadrant III is that place where unimportant things rob your time.  They tend to be urgent, but unimportant.  Typically, this is where others demand things of you that don’t contribute to your goals or relationships. It’s easy to stay in this quadrant because it feels like we’re doing important things.  They can include activities like:
  • Answering emails and phone calls
  • Interruptions from colleagues
  • Meetings
  • Texts
Quadrant IV —  Stay Away at All Costs.
The quadrant of “Excess and Waste.”  These activities are time wasters, and we instinctually know it.  They suck out the ability for you to live productively and meaningfully.  They are neither urgent, or important.  Don’t feel too bad, however; if some of these things contribute to a meaningful area of life (such as genuine rest and relaxation, intellectual stimulation, contribution to goals, quality time with others, etc.) then they can be safely categorized as Quadrant II.  The key factor may be how often and long you find yourself doing them.
  • Social media
  • TV binge watching
  • Video games
  • Web surfing
  • Shopping
I encourage you to soak-in the above diagram and evaluate your activities against your priorities. For even more clarity on this, read Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” Ask yourself, what activities dominate most of your time?  You can be assured that Quadrant II activities will get you closer to being the person you want to become.  It’s really about priority management, so much more than time management.
Be Your Best!