Some years ago, I took the time to identify my personal core values. I review them annually, but each year inner peace makes the list. I thought it might be helpful to describe what having inner peace means to me, and how I go about preserving it.
Inner peace for me is a psychological and spiritual freedom that allows me to feel contentment in a world always demanding my attention, and where adversity is ever present. Feeling peace is important, because if something undermines my peace, it undermines my happiness. To be content with myself and the world around me is to be truly free. My peace is dependent entirely on my inner attitudes.
Because I cannot control anything outside of myself, I try to make my peace not dependent on anything outside of myself. My inner peace and freedom do not rely on my ability to silence the buzzing and whirling of the external world around me. It is not dependent on getting all the things of my desire but appreciating all that I already have. By reducing the disturbances in my inner life, I can increase my inner freedom and peace of mind. What practices are key to having an undisturbed day?
“The world can be at war while one is at peace, just as the world can be at peace while one is at war.”
— Epictetus
Keys I try to keep in mind…
- Control. Awareness about what I ultimately do and do not control. I can only be responsible and feel burden for those things I control. Most things in my life I do not control. But I do control my thoughts, emotions, judgments, perspectives, opinions, fears and intentions. If it is a worldly external that bothers me, I remember I do not own it and therefore not mine to be burdened.
- Providence. The Creator is in control. The universe is complex and amazingly sophisticated. I only see evidence that the nature of the world is not random and mere chance. Consequently, it is governed by providence and therefore there is meaning in everything. Everything is ordained by my creator and has purpose. I try to accept and even embrace the “bad” with which I face.
- Gatekeeping. I am my own gatekeeper for the things that enter my mind. What goes into my mind turns to thoughts, then words, then actions, then habits, then character and finally my destiny. Too much news and social media are destructive to my peace. I need to also be careful about what and whom I spend my time with and allow into my life.
- Fear. I work at detaching from my fears. Fear is a controllable product of my opinion about it. The possible unpleasant situations looming ahead are a product of my own catastrophizing and usually never end up bad as I think, if at all. My self-inflicted gloom and doom only hold me back and makes me miserable. Why worry about something before it is necessary?
- Gratitude. Gratefulness helps me to detach from my desires. When I appreciate what I already have, I am less concerned with what I still desire. While I appreciate what I have, I am careful to not become too attached should I lose it. The less I desire, the more I find peace.
- Adversity. I know that it has a purpose. Every seemingly bad situation helps me to learn and grow. Often, I can look back at the turmoil in my life and see a good that has emerged from it. To suffer is not to spend time in vain. The value I gain from adversity is always more than the emotional price I paid.
- Stillness. Quiet time to still the mind and provide opportunity for reflection is a long habit of mine. For me, this is general reading, prayer, devotions, and introspection. By taking time to separate myself from the noisy world, I gain clarity and focus on the longer view of life. It allows me to empty my mind of the daily chatter and consider the deeper significant things that lie below.
- Margin. I try not to push the limits. My budget, my schedule, my gas tank, my sleep…. all thank me. I know that having breathing room gives me peace of mind. I am not stretched thin and drained of energy by the routine pressures I can burden myself with. This is a practice I struggle with.
- Relationships. I appreciate harmony in all my relationships and try to keep them good. When one is out of whack, it causes me turmoil, and I try to mend it. I moderate my expectations, so I am hard to disappoint or hurt. When trouble shows it head, I ask myself “would I rather be right, or keep the peace?” Especially true in marriage.
- Beauty in the moment. There is beauty all around us all the time. Only in the last couple of years have I come to appreciate watching the squirrels gathering food, kids laughing playing at the park, or the rain cleansing the air. But if I look with intention, I will always find something. These momentary enjoyments brings me inner peace.
For me, having inner peace is a core ingredient to my happiness. As ancient philosopher Epictetus said, “The world can be at war while one is at peace, just as the world can be at peace while one is at war.” In a world that seems to always be at “war,” I prefer to be at peace.