life as a story
I don’t read obituaries often, but when I do, I find it interesting to see a person’s life as a story, reduced down into a few paragraphs. It got me thinking about my life as a story, a long novel or movie, of which I am the author. As each day goes by, another page is turned or another scene is shot. As each year or season of life passes, another chapter closes and another begins. As each decision is made, as each relationship goes, so does the story of my life. And I am its creator.
I want my story at the end of my life to be like a great movie you always remember. In these stories, there are always trials, missteps, tragedy and regret – these are the antagonists to be overcome. What are the antagonists in your life? Maybe it’s a volatile relationship in need of improvement? A vice, habit or part of your character that you know should be changed or eliminated? Perhaps your antagonist is an ongoing situation or season of life that has been particularly difficult? The antagonists of your life will always be in your story — they will come and go. These are the crosses that God gives us to carry. Without them, your story is dull and less meaningful, less instructive and less rewarding. They are the valleys in our journey that make the mountain tops so beautiful. Whatever the antagonists of your life story are, you have the ability to control how your character responds. You are the protagonist — the hero of your story.
As the main character of my own life story, each day I confront all that life throws my way (even the small and seemingly inconsequential.) These are difficulties I cause myself, and things that happen to me. I want the character in my own story to overcome it all, to emerge from the other side better for the experience. When turmoil and challenges strike, I have choices in my responses. The size of my problems determine the significance of my rewards. The bigger the challenge to solve, the more value I can bring to my life or work. As the protagonists and hero of my story, I want the outcome to be one I can be proud of, and one that makes me a better person. Nineteen years ago Cheri and I lost our fourth daughter Hannah to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). It was the most formidable period of our lives, and one in which we could allow to destroy us and our marriage, or lift us up to appreciate life more, and be better parents. Rather than blame God, our response was to accept God’s will, and know that it was part of his perfect plan and the design for our lives, even though we didn’t understand it at all. It wasn’t a feel-good triumphant ending, but it helped us to grow immensely in our marriage together and see the beauty in life even more. Looking back on that chapter of our lives, we can even call it a blessing. As author Jeff Goins says, “Life is lived forward and understood backwards.”
“Life is lived forward and understood backwards.” –Jeff Goins
Another way to look at the story of our lives is to see it with respect to the past, present and future. Our pasts don’t define us, good or bad. The past should only be looked back on to learn and appreciate. The present is to be cherished and enjoyed, for it is the only thing that is guaranteed. We create what will be our past, in our day-to-day living. It is in todays decisions and relationships that life is made. It is in the enjoyment of beautiful moments, savoring and celebration of wonderful experiences, and presence in our relationships that we create a worthy past. The future is a blank page, and each day we can write the rest of the story. It is because each new day is a fresh start, that I can be optimistic about the weeks, months and years ahead. I can look forward to the contributions I can make to this world.
The decisions of your day tell the story of the day. The accumulation of your days tell the story of the week. The accumulation of the weeks tells the story of the year. Your years tell the story of your life. And while every day, week or month may not turn out as you wish, keep trying, because your efforts will be revealed over the years. There is a Chinese saying that goes, “The years say what the days cannot tell.”
“The years say what the days cannot tell.” — Chinese saying
How can you be the hero in your own story? Are you…
- Proud of your choices in the moment of decision?
- Demonstrating courage in the small instances?
- Doing things to make your dreams a reality?
- Living in the present, but mindful of the future?
Unlike a movie line, our life stories are complex and cannot be neatly categorized into a tidy genre. Our lives are a compilation of comedy, drama, tragedy, adventure, romance, mystery and more. We are the author of our own lives. It doesn’t matter what our characters did in the past, or where they are today, Even if we are not happy with how our storyline is going, the exciting news is that we can change it. We indeed can fashion how the rest of the story goes.
As we now move into the New Year, it is now appropriate to reflect on your character’s life as a story for rest of your novel. What will you write into 2017’s chapter?
Be your best!